Ichi Gichi Gaga
Ah the hustle and bustle of a Shockabuku Talent show...
"Where's Shini?" Sim panicked, coming back stage.
"I have no clue." Trin closed off a curtain behind her.
"Oooooh. He's going to get it if ....grrrr."she stormed off.
"You're on first!"Gelf HB called after her.
"Yeah, yeah."She brushed the android off and went on with her search.
The curtain opened and Sim stood center stage.
"Today, I will demonstrate how to dislocate a knee cap! Now, let's here it for my lovely assistant!"she pulled a satin blanket off of a tall box. Drex was inside, gagged and dangling from multiple chains.
CRACK!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"the god screamed despite his gag.
"Oh. That hurt."Pheonix flinched.
"GO SIM! GO!"Trin cheered.
"Bitch!"Lex stood up in the audience.
Shiroi whacked her in the back of the head and drug her out, apologizing to the other viewers.
Sim took a bow and wheeled the box off stage with her, waving and blowing kisses.
Oniko wondered on stage.
"Hi!"she exclaimed and wondered off.
Then Trinity took her turn. She wheeled a gurney into the limelight. Except for the top of the skull a blanket covered the mysterious lump.
"Hello. I will now show you all the many wondrous things you can do with a human brain."
She then picked up a hack-saw and began to work the scalp off.
"Damn. His brains bigger than I thought."She muttered. "Anyway!"
She picked a probe and turned to the audience.
"Look what I can do!"
The probe was inserted and the patients left arm popped up. Sim came on stage again looking for Shini and saw the tattoo on the left arm.
"SHINI!"she pointed.
"Oops. Gotta go!"Trin wheeled the gurney off stage in a hurry.
"Meet my good friend the goat!"Jake followed Trin.
He unzipped his fly.
"Sorry folks."Trin pulled the goat off stage and Sim pulled Jake along, cursing at him.
Archer was the next in line. She played her harp and Chichiri harmonized with her, playing a pennywhistle.
"Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me. Look into your heart..."Shiroi sang his and Trinity's song on stage.
"Grrr."Hiiro growled from the back of the audience. "My wife, my wife."
"Down doggie."Pheonix put a hand on his shoulder.
"...I do it for you."Shiroi finished, then exited stage left.
"HIYA!!!"Mika skipped up to the edge of the stage. "I was going to use my talents to turn my sister into a plant! But she wouldn't let me so I'll just have to do this to Sim. Gosh, I hope this works."
"Help me!"Sim squeaked, trying to get away.
Mika grabbed her and slammed her down in a chair.
"NO!"
"But you'll look pretty, Sim."
"I don't want to look pretty!"
"Too bad."
Mika's hands began to glow and vines began to sprout from Simoriah's arms and hands. They entwined themselves around her body and produced buds that morphed into beautiful flowers.
"This is cruel."
"Don't worry. It wares off...in about a week."
"You're getting me back for eating you! Admit it!"
"I think that just about raps up this portion of the show." Trin hurried on stage to prevent a war.
"Our next act will be Lucas and Kitty."
"Thank-you."Lucas came out with Kitty. "And now Kitty will step into this box and I'll saw her in half."
"This is gonna have major repercussions. I can see it now."Mouse whispered to Matrix and Neo.
Kitty was firmly locked in place and Lucas moved to get out a saw when vampire Lucas took over.
"Naw. That saw would be no fun. This..."he whipped out a chainsaw. "...would be a lot more fun!"
"That's gonna be painful I think."Jaga and Braden agreed.
Lucas sawed Kitty in half and ran off. Trin and Pheonix each took a half of the box and went to perform a minor surgery. After the three people were removed from the stage, Shiryoku and Hiiro came out. Shiry changed her face to that of a vampire and began to hypnotize Hiiro.
"Hiiro, when I snap my fingers, you'll come out of your transe. But when you do, you'll think you're a duck."
Forgetting to tell him when to change back from a duck, Shiry snapped her fingers.
"Quack, quack."Hiiro waddled off stage at Shiry's side.
"Now that was mean, no da."Chichiri commented.
"I'll teach you to play with my oversized cranium."Shini stormed on stage holding Trin over his shoulder.
"That sounded really wrong ya know."Trin couldn't break free.
"My act,"Shini began. "Is to toss this lousy excuse of a woman into another dimension from which she'll never escape!"
"But I'm cute and lovable!"
"That's right! She is!"Pheonix burst.
"Hiiro! Save her!"Shiroi called.
"Quack?"Hiiro looked up confused and continued to flutter around.
"I think I'm in the mood for some duck a'lorange."Shiroi used hs flame fan to fry Hiiro. "With a side of Shinigami on a stick!"
Before Shini could finish his diabolical plan, he was crispified. Trin sat on the floor panting and trying to gain composer.
"Our...next and...final...act will...be...coming up...soon."
The lights were dimmed and the curtains raised. All you could see were the backs of five butch, and rather tall women...at least everyone thought they were women.
"Ichi gichi co non dada..."the speaker system played.
The performers turned around. Sim; who was picking rose buds out of her ears, Trinity, Shiry, and Delilah wanted to die. Dressed in drag, singing to Lady Marmalade, were Shinigami, Jake Morbid, Pheonix, Hiiro, and Shiroi!
Chichiri was the only one who could speak.
"What the hell posses them to do that, no da?"
"It's now time to announce the winner!"Matrix held an envelope in his hand.
"Coming in third place are Archer and Chichiri."
"NO DA!"Chichiri and Archer jumped up and down.
"Second place winner is Shiroi."
"Grrr! Quack."Hiiro was still mad and partly duck.
"And our first place winner in the first ever Shockabuku talent show is...Oniko?"
"Yeah! Mage, I won!"
"I know."He smiled at the green haired wonder.
On his shirt was a nametag that read 'judge.'
"I dressed in drag for nothing!?"Jake huffed. "Dammit! Where's my goat? I need to unwind."
So as usual, nothing in Shockabuku goes according to plan. Maybe one day they'll get it right...
*Owari*
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